Feb/20/2010/

& it's Always going to be my fault, no Matter which way.

Feeeel Aliveee (8)

As much as we want things to stay the same as much as possible, everyday of every minute even every second. We're all changeing. Everything is. The only way for it to benefit you is to go Along with it and adjust it into a situation that'll make every difference in everyones lives. Scary, but at the same time intrigueing. Anyways, hope everyones making it in there own sense. 10 more days of the month and lots more to do and attend to. me & the miss are doing well, me & the friends are rocking the boat still missing'em losers. Families same as usual. Had a nice nap and time to do homework now =.=

Long weekend

This weekend has been the best in a verrrrrrry long time : ). Had a good time chillin wit babee on fridayy, on saturday went downtown semi shopping with , kelloct + me and my girl, kelly found her dress but we're still searching on our outfits, then we watched valentines day (y) it was cute , overall pretty good : ) still needa watch dear john! grr. Anyways, today was valentines day + chinese new year. no $$$ but lots of love : ) , met up with baby , I had to go buy some roses then meet her at downsview, she had a big box lugging it around with her everywhere, wouldnt let me touch it >: ( I had a feeling I knew what it was though lmaoo anyways so we got back to my placee, chilled I finally got to open it and it wass..ICE CREAM CAKE ! yayyyyy I was craving it for so longgg god thats some good shit <3 so then I gave her roses and her little valentines card. We chilled at my place for a couple of hours then we bussed back downtown to eat at my favourite sushi place FINALLY after HOW many failed attempts lmao. The service was horrible though, even if it was busy our waitress barely checked up on us 3/4 of the time we were waiting on food I swear. Then we bussed back up, I walked her home in the freezing cold and waited for my bus for over an hour but w.e it dont matter not tryna get it to ruin my day todayyy. Got home and now I'm just chillin eating more Ice cream cake while listening to baby sing karaoke with her family because there having a famjam, hehe so cute. Anywho, happy holidays DUDES & DUDETTES (y)

idiots.

I LOVE how you can't say SHIT to me and try to cover it up. I don't give a shit, I'm tired of your shit I can't WAIT to leave this place. Just a couple more years. If your afraid to ask me about my sexuality that's your problem, but I don't fucking appreciate you making it sound like a SIN or shameful, your my PARENTS do you know how to BE one though? It never gets old how I can't stand your guts, It's pathetic. Nah, what's more pathetic is me sitting here bitching and expressing my feelings when you guys are up there, still don't dare to face me and leaving the situation to a complete blank. Piss.Me.Off On another note, I went to go check out my bro's new place, its actually really nice and decent and especially for the price they're going for, happy for them : ).

Charlie Bit my Fingaaaaa

soOoOo Lazy right now. Quick bloggy, ummm lotta new changes some good some bad, more or less. UHHH lets see school bores the fuck out of me, as usual. So much shit going on this month! it's driving me crazy trying to manage my money to spend on which day and how much for what stuff and blahblah lord. So broke god dam, anywho umm tad bumpy with the gee, interferance starting to bug me but whatever I'll control it. Familys fine, I guess house is so empty now that everyone's busy doing their own thing. Neeeed moree shiftssss for $$ UGH can't stress that enough. Seems like I haven't chilled with any of my bitches for soo long ! gotta work on that soon, of course that's if they made time for me ALSO. Anywho other than that, im hungry again. Gonna find a snack and lay in bed and do some thinkingg, later days.

02/07/10

Everything's been good so far. I just hope I can keep this attitude and positive vibe up. I've been so cranky and grumpy lately, taking it out on you. I apologize a million times but it still doesn't make it acceptable. I know my, sensitive, bi-polar, emotional insecure ass can be a handful most of the time and it's incredible you can even handle it LOL. However, I always told myself and others that whenever the right chicky comes along i'd treat her to the best of my abilities because I know I'm a proper catch, not trynna be cocky or nothing. Although lately I know its been a bit bumpy but I swear as soon as I get my act straight I will focus on improving on us, but for now I'm just hopeing I don't push you away too far. Wish you'd stay as close as possible babe. Anyways so much to do this month, so much coming up :D I can't wait, but holyyyyy going out = $$ and right now I'm trying my hardest to scronge up as much flow as possible to pay for everything LOL but it's okay I've managed to control my budget schedule and it's allll good to go. Other than that yes I can't wait for a lot of things happening in the next 2/3 weeks hehehe. Anyways, I liookkee her. : )

01/31/2010 1:53pm.

Your worth the pain, you only push them away because your afraid to hurt them, but im not scared to get hurt, its inevitable. Your caring and unselfish, sweet and nonjudgmental. If I was to put my hope into anyone, it would be you. Your sensitive and full of feelings, and I think that just makes you amazing. Yeah, never say never, but were different. - KT

This is why I'm with her. & this is why, all the others couldn't. They never saw me, treated me and accepted me as truly appreciative as you have. iADOREher.

Fly away (8)

Sometimes I feel like I should just run away,
but im strong so I think imma stay
and everyonelse seems to be okay
and one day one day one day imma just fly away.
They say good things dont last,
and bad things don't stay,
with my pain make lemonade
I walk around like im remagade
but the truth of the matter is I been afraid.

Away from you.

Love MUST be blind because honestly I don't know what the fuck I saw in you. God, I just can't bitch about you enough. I hate that I can become so weak around you, still after everything I've been through, we've been through you STILL haven't changed. your selfish, you aint gon change for anyone. It's disgusting how self-centered you are. You hypocrite, naive, angry, hateful and conniving person. I would have loved you no matter what way. But holy fuck, everyone has their limits, you? you just don't know when to fucking stop. Give it a rest, grow up the fuck up honestly. Don't accuse other people of being childish when you can't even get over yourself and become the bigger person for once. I'm stupid for ever thinking we would ever settle our differences. what I hate the MOST, is that you'll always be in my heart I'll always love you no matter what. It makes me fucking cry.

lalalala

It's beeeeen bleh, lol. So far everythings on steady boat for now. Exam week was a effing bitch, but I'm glad its done and over with! yessss semester 2 beginsss. Even though I'm glad to hear people this and that getting accepted to colleges and universities they applied for it brings a sudden disspointment in my heart, I still don't know where I'm going in life or if I'll even make it, makes my soul shiver. I wish I could be more leanet on my parents, It's not like I want to rebel against them on purpose, there are reasons why it's like this in my family. *sigh, all I ever wanted was a happy, loving careing family. Anyways, works been loaaaaaaafting on shifts mannn, I'm broke as hell and they're not exactly throwing oppertunitie at me right now, who knew January would be the slowest month? anyways hopefully this month will pick up! umm haven't really spent a lot of time on the girls lately, everyones doing their own thing and it was a hectic week last week so. hopefully they'll be more time with them sooon. Waiting on valentines&semi : ) , don't know if any clubs are coming up with events for February. Nontheless, I'd say lifes coming up as pretty decent right now, : ) yay. *sigh .. still lots to think about..