If you don't get it I'm not going to explain it to you.

Life's all about Money.
Your either working for it,
Killing for it,
Or F u c k i n g for it.

It's time.

you've had the best of me. You had your fair share, & you never cared. If you really think about it, you probably even deny that anything ever happend between us or that it didnt mean anything. But you know what? good. because that's exactly what i'm doing. You don't matter because you didn't give me a third of what I gave you. I'm done talking about you, don't feel nice, you don't even cross my mind anymore.

To make it work, I have to free my heart of your tight grasp, and ill fight with every being to prove to you that it'll be you in the end, the one who cares for me and deeply shows their affection for me. Even if its hard at times, fighting all the time having our complications, but that's life. So, whatever it takes that's what I'll do to assure you, please don't doubt me and be patient with me. It'll be alright soon enough.

Can't wait.

I can't believe after all the shit you pulled me through. FUCK your shit. Why did I ever stumble upon a person like you. You never wanted me, or us. & obv I don't wanna hurt anybody but you did mean so much to me, and I fucking HATE you for everything you've done and are doing now. It's like you waited for me to find somebody else so you can go on and be happy with HIM. I honestly can say I wish I never met you. I wish I never fell for you. I wish I never knew you. I can't WAIT for the day I hate you. I fill my heart with hate and darkness, all dedicated to you. The only reason why you can only still break my heart and make me cry is because everything you said was lies, everything we had was bullshit. I'm mad at MYSELF for being so blind and stupid. & It's time I forgive myself and bury you down into the deepest hole in the center of the earth.

& I hate myself because I have somebody who gives there all to me, and I'm afraid to even open up. & it's all because of the way you badly hurt me. I'M SCARED. It's so unfair to her and myself. I need to let you go, I'm gonna erase you from my life.


your just a walking reminder of something I never had.

man oh man.

*sigh there's so much I wanna say. But theres so much that I'm restricted too. You know how you miss things when it's gone, and no I don't mean partners wise. Just the old times, memories, expierences just all the good times passing by . I miss a lot of them, and as much as I try to create new and more exciteing ones, it just never seems to work out. Things are different now, slowly changeing, it's hard. it hurts. All you can do is go with it. Certain things have their advantages and there disadvantages, and your always ALWAYS gonna want the things you CAN'T have. The day you can honestly say that;

''you can take a single glance at someone who you've terribly loved and hurt and not feel a THING, that'll be the day you know you've finally moved on.'' - yours truly.

grrrrrrawr

don't do this again -_- get your act straight mann, focus focus focus! school + money = priorities.
babe & da homes = necessities. That's all that matters.

99th day.

It was on the 99th day that I realized. & for a moment I thought I could have been ready, but no. It was too soon. Despite all the arguments and stupid fights we get into, it's always made up because nothing that small or stupid can interefere, however It does build up, constantly. It's tireing and how can you really handle that, some may wonder. I adore the way she fits into my arms, and how we can fall asleep anywhere as long as we're together. Her Smile, soft skin the way she grips onto me. How I run my fingers through her hair, I love the feeling that SHE feels safe with me. It's like being called Superman. But sometimes, just SOMETIMES it gets really hard, the reason why people are stubborn, insecure and stuck is because of past experiences, always, always. If you've had your trust bond broken before, your wall only expands higher and wider beyong the horizons, and it makes it difficult for anew to b r e a k it d o w n, its unfair but that's how it is. The saying how it goes 'Sometimes - we build a wall, not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to knock them down' I really really hope it's you. I truly do.

Main Concerns

TOP NECESSITIES.

1. Save up for Prom/NY shopping.
2. Get glasses
3. New Phone