Gotta change my life..I've matured too fast it's like I never had a childhood. All I ever knew was pain, I look around & I see my friends all happy enjoying themselves as I watch them change, mend and drift. I'm still standing here, it's the same thing everytime..is this my punishment?..Why give a life if all I want is for it to end. Maybe I shouldn't put my heart into everything because eventually " everyone " leaves. I just need some type of closure, I can't worry about you anymore, I have to let go. I have to realize my friends today, won't be 5 years from now. So as much as I'll miss everything I have now, please don't expect me to be there for you because when I needed someone, not one of you were there for me. People are selfish, once they think they've found 'love' in another, that's all that matters. & maybe at one time I could have understood that, that's all I've ever wanted for my friends. Just to see them happy, even when I was slowly dying inside. That's why I've kept my mouth shut and watch their smile brighten while my heart would crack a little more each and every single day. I ask myself, why.. When is it my turn to be happy? How much longer before I can finally fucking have a ending. Don't depend on anyone but yourself, because in the end that's all you'll ever have. Baby, I loved you with everything I had, everyonelse saw it, except you. So thank you, for breaking me, making me and helping me become the future me. After everything we've been through and your able to just walk away from me so EASILY like I was never apart of your life, live it for yourself while I'm sinking slowly to the bottom of the ocean. I finally realized I never needed you to save me, I'll float back up to surface myself, cause baby, you were just drowning me.