Fly away (8)

Sometimes I feel like I should just run away,
but im strong so I think imma stay
and everyonelse seems to be okay
and one day one day one day imma just fly away.
They say good things dont last,
and bad things don't stay,
with my pain make lemonade
I walk around like im remagade
but the truth of the matter is I been afraid.

Away from you.

Love MUST be blind because honestly I don't know what the fuck I saw in you. God, I just can't bitch about you enough. I hate that I can become so weak around you, still after everything I've been through, we've been through you STILL haven't changed. your selfish, you aint gon change for anyone. It's disgusting how self-centered you are. You hypocrite, naive, angry, hateful and conniving person. I would have loved you no matter what way. But holy fuck, everyone has their limits, you? you just don't know when to fucking stop. Give it a rest, grow up the fuck up honestly. Don't accuse other people of being childish when you can't even get over yourself and become the bigger person for once. I'm stupid for ever thinking we would ever settle our differences. what I hate the MOST, is that you'll always be in my heart I'll always love you no matter what. It makes me fucking cry.

lalalala

It's beeeeen bleh, lol. So far everythings on steady boat for now. Exam week was a effing bitch, but I'm glad its done and over with! yessss semester 2 beginsss. Even though I'm glad to hear people this and that getting accepted to colleges and universities they applied for it brings a sudden disspointment in my heart, I still don't know where I'm going in life or if I'll even make it, makes my soul shiver. I wish I could be more leanet on my parents, It's not like I want to rebel against them on purpose, there are reasons why it's like this in my family. *sigh, all I ever wanted was a happy, loving careing family. Anyways, works been loaaaaaaafting on shifts mannn, I'm broke as hell and they're not exactly throwing oppertunitie at me right now, who knew January would be the slowest month? anyways hopefully this month will pick up! umm haven't really spent a lot of time on the girls lately, everyones doing their own thing and it was a hectic week last week so. hopefully they'll be more time with them sooon. Waiting on valentines&semi : ) , don't know if any clubs are coming up with events for February. Nontheless, I'd say lifes coming up as pretty decent right now, : ) yay. *sigh .. still lots to think about..

sigh

I feel a drift, and a pull I just don't know which rope to grab onto..

Life Schedule.

February

1st - baby comes over
2nd - 1 month & work
3rd -
4th - paycheck : )
5th - visited babe
6th - babe came over
7th - yd window shopping / baby
8th - visit gf
9th - work
10th - deposit
11th - visit
12th - p.a day / see baby + chill with monkey&chris ( -35 )
13th - semi shopping/birthday or chill - $15 (avoid spending at all)
14th - valentines day - $50
15th - family day
16th - baby gets contacts
17th - baby picks outfit + I have work
18th - happy birthday vanessa & paycheck
19th - buy semi tickets - $70
20th - vanessa's birthday celeberation - $15
21st - my own semi shopping - $50-70?
22nd
23rd
24th
25th
26th - happy birthday erika & diana & semi formal
27th - twins birthday plans - $35
28th



Total= $285 depending.

stupidity

I don't wanna hurt anyone..

ugh eatggwruhrktmryks

Why am I getting so mad over the little things? Like I can't control my emotions. It's ridiculous, it gets to the point where my thoughts consume me and are pulled to sides of negativity, anger consumes me and all I wanna do is hurt someone, something, myself. Wtf is going on, Get over it.